


This Is My Home

by SlutForSaphael



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fixing the break up, Hurt Raphael, M/M, Vampire Simon, post episode 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6560212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlutForSaphael/pseuds/SlutForSaphael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon gets caught outside of the Hotel DuMort right before sunrise by a not-so-thrilled Raphael.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is My Home

    Simon stared up at the Hotel DuMort and sighed. He'd been coming here every night for the last 2 years, even if just a fleeting moment right before sunrise. Simon never missed a night. He tried to stay hidden, tried to avoid the clan noticing and so far no one had said anything to him so he assumed he'd gone unnoticed. Until he was late.

    It had been a night he was on a mission with the rest of the gang and it ran a little later than expected. Simon knew he didn't have time but that didn't stop him, he needed to go. He had to go. It had become his ritual. He would go to the hotel, look up at the window he knew was Raphael's and apologize. He never went in, never asked for Raphael to come down, never texted, never called. He knew what he had done was beyond forgiveness and he knew Raphael deserved better than what he did. Simon went every night hoping to get rid of the guilt, hoping to get rid of the pain he felt every time he looked in the mirror.

    Tonight was different though. It was 10 minutes until sunrise when he showed up and he knew he couldn't make it all the way back to the institute in time but he didn't care anymore.

He gazed up at the window and apologized, “I never meant to hurt you Raphael” he said fighting the urge to cry tonight.

"Who said you hurt me traitor?" Came a familiar voice from behind him causing Simon to freeze. "You were late tonight. What happened? Shadowhunters need you again?" The voice said, dripping sarcasm. But it was Raphael. Simon still couldn't turn around but he knew the voice, he knew that sarcastic tone. He knew.

"We were on a mission. How...how did you know I'd be here?" He finally said turning to face the older vampire.

"You've come every night Simon. I'm not stupid. But tonight you're too late, what were you planning on giving you pointless apology to the hotel and then burning? Dios idiota. Did you think dying would help you?"

"No. I wasn't thinking about the sun, I just had to come but what- What does it even matter to you?" He asked with painful curiosity. “Why does it matter if I'm dead? After all the last thing you did was have me ordered to be killed” Simon's voice held no anger, he wasn't accusing the vampire of anything. He was just stating the facts.

"Dios niño. ¿Por qué me haces esto? Usted actúa como si yo quería que me traicionas" he said bitterly.

"I just came to apologize again. There's a reason I never asked to talk to you,” he said avoiding the hard gaze of the other boy.

"We can continue this conversation inside" he started walking towards the hotel only to pause when he got to the door. He looked back at Simon who hadn't moved and gestured to the door. Simon could see the rays of light and knew he had no choice but to follow.

"Stay close. The clan might not be very welcoming of a traitor" said the leader as they walked through the halls to the elevator.Neither of them said anything else until they got to Raphael's room, luckily not passing any other vampires on their way.  
Simon sat down on the couch he used to take breaks from training on. He smiled fondly at the memory.

**_"Simon you need to focus! If I was an enemy you would be dead right now. Dios, are you trying to get yourself killed?" Raphael said as Simon fell to the couch in exhaustion, they'd been at it for 3 hours now and Simon just wanted to curl up and sleep._ **

**_"No Raph. I just...need...a minute"_ **

**_"Niño. I'm trying to make sure you can protect yourself. I won't always be around to protect you, sometimes you'll have to fight on your own. Then what will you do?" With that Raphael handed him a glass of blood and sat next to him, a little closer than needed but Simon didn't mind._ **

He was interrupted from his trip down memory lane by an impatient cough from the boy sitting across from him.

"You can sleep in here today, I'd say your old room but I'm sure the clan would just kill you if you did" he said without any emotion.

"Where. Where would you sleep? I don't want to be a bother" he responded quietly.

"You're bothering me just being here" He snapped. "You'll sleep on the couch and you'll be gone at sunset. Understood?" Simon nodded and watched as Raphael stood up and left the room without a word. He came back a minute later holding clothing.

"These are from your room. Put them on and go to sleep" he said not looking at Simon as he tossed the clothes to him. They were his red plaid pajama pants as well as an old star wars shirt his sister had bought him.

"Thank you Raphael. Truly" the other by grunted in reply as he went into the closet. Several minutes later he emerged wearing red silk pajamas, Raphael hadn't bothered buttoning the shirt.

Simon gulped looking at the boy he'd always thought was breathtaking and shook his head bitterly as he thought about how if he hadn't completely fucked up, he could see him like this everyday for the rest of eternity. But that wouldn't happen now.

"Raphael. Did you...did you want to continue our conversation?" Simon asked with a shaky voice.

"If we must" he replied with another sigh and sat back down across from Simon.

"I didn't come to apologize for your sake,” he started. He figured if he just jumped into it he could avoid thinking about how badly he wanted to kiss the other boy. “I knew I didn't deserve your forgiveness and I didn't want it. What I did to you was unforgivable. You tried protecting me, even when I was just a mundane. Then when I turned you taught me to defend myself, where to find blood, how to use my vampire senses, how to control my hunger. You let me borrow your clothes even after I ruined countless jackets. You would come in and sing to me when I was having nightmares which I know is why you had my room next to yours. So you could wake up and comfort me if you needed to. You did everything for me Raphael and I betrayed you. I don't deserve your forgiveness" he said sadly.

"Why did you continue to come then?" He asked, his voice less angry but Simon assumed that was due to sleep.

"Because I thought maybe one day I could forgive myself. I thought maybe one day I would stop thinking about that day. I thought maybe I wouldn't feel so ashamed. I thought maybe I would hate myself less if I could forgive myself. I thought...I thought I might be able to stop seeing your disappointment if I could stop being disappointed in myself. I thought I could stop seeing a monster every time I saw my reflection" Simon confessed. He was being completely honest, he owed him that much.

"Every night for the last two years, Lily has come to inform me that you were outside and every night I told her to leave you be. But tonight you didn't show. I waited for half an hour before you showed up, you've never cut it that close before. Every night when he'd come to me, I would look out my window and see you staring up. I watched you leave every night Simon. I could never figure out why you didn't come up. But now that I know, I understand" Simon looked up in disbelief. He never expected to hear those words from Raphael.

    Without saying another word on the subject he stood up and walked to his bed. He threw a pillow and blanket to Simon before climbing into his king size pillow top covered in dark silk sheets. Simon used to wonder how he didn't slip right off the silk when he slept but now he just stared in awe at the boy and changed into the clothes he'd been brought and silently made a bed out of the couch.

* * *

    Simon was restless. He'd fallen off the couch three times in the past hour. It was the third time that he decided he should just sleep on the floor but he still couldn't stop moving. He groaned in frustration as he fluffed his pillow. He laid silently for several minutes before letting out another groan, before he could try to get comfortable again Simon was being picked up and thrown onto the bed.

"I am trying to sleep and you moving isn't helping. Shut up and go to sleep" was all Raphael said before laying down next to him and closing his eyes.

    Simon was captivated by the beautiful vampire laying next to him. He took in every part of him knowing this was probably going to be his only chance. He looked and thought how perfect this boy was. Everything from his ruffled, no longer slicked back hair to the way his eyes fluttered in sleep, to the way he clutched at his pillow. This was nothing like what Simon would've guess the vampire slept like but it was perfect to him. He fell asleep memorizing the face of the sleeping angel in front of him.

   

* * *

     When he woke up Raphael was gone and he sat up slightly panicked. He looked around trying to find him but was greeted by an empty room.

"Raphael?" He called out hoarsely, voice still rough from sleep.

"Oh you're finally up" the other boy said appearing in front of him with two glasses of blood.

"No thank you, I'll just get dressed and go" he said without making eye contact.

"Don't be rude, did you learn nothing about manners living here? Or did your shadowhunters just ruin that too?" He said with a bitterness he tried to cover with sarcasm, still holding out the glass for Simon to take. After he did, the other boy turned around and walked towards his desk to sit down.

    Simon watched him walk away as he sipped quietly at his drink. _Once this drink is done,_ he thought, _I'll have to leave._ It was a thought that pained his undead heart and he drank his drink even slower.

"Drinking slowly isn't going to change my mind about you having to leave fledgling. I can't trust you" he said without looking up at him.

"You trusted me enough to stay here last night" he knew he was pushing it but he knew he had a slight chance and he had to take it.

"That's because you were sleeping in my room and I could keep an eye on you" Simon noticed he avoided the fact that he ended up in his bed.

"I could sleep in your room every night" he said helpfully and smiled, unable to help himself as he pictured getting to stay with Raphael every night.

    The older vampire finally looked up at him from whatever he was working on at his desk and smiled a sad smile.

"I can't trust you anymore Simon. I wish you could stay but you apologizing isn't going to change the fact that you left. You chose shadowhunters over your own kind baby" the nickname pained them both, it was just another reminder that things couldn't go back.

“But I understand now Raph, really I do" he got up from the bed, sitting the glass on the night stand and walking over to the weary vampire. "I had only just become a vampire," he continued, "I was still figuring out what I was and I was holding onto the only thing I knew was certain and that was my friendship with Clary. She's like my sister Raphael. I had to help my family, vampire or not. My loyalty lies with my family and I know now that you're my family. The vampires are my people and my family. This is my home. Not the institute. Not my mom's house. Here. Please Raphael" he was begging the leader now, letting go of any pride he might have had left.

“Simon. Please. Don't make this harder than it already is” the vampire said with a pained look. “ I want you to stay but. But you can't. Please get dressed and leave” with that he got up and walked out of the room.

    Simon got dressed as he was told and was about to leave before he caught a glance of Raphael's closet and got an idea. It was a stupid idea that would never work but that didn't stop him. He quietly walked back over and looked at his large closet, he quickly found the jackets and grabbed a black leather one before walking out.

“What are you doing Simon?” Raphael said appearing out of nowhere.

“I'm taking one of your jackets” he simply said and continued to walk away.

“And why exactly are you doing that?” he said trying to fight the smile that threatened his lips.

“Because you love your jackets more than you like me so if I have one of your jackets you'll have to come see me to get it back” he finally stopped walking and turned to flash Raphael toothy smile “pretty clever right?”

“Dios bebé. I just got that one” he said with a slight smile causing the other boy to wink and turn to continue walking.

    Simon let out a gasp as Raphael had him pushed up against the wall. His arms were on either side of Simon's head and if he got any closer, their bodies would be touching. He looked into his eyes for a moment before he grabbed the jacket from the shocked boy and walked back to his closet to put it away. When he came out Simon was still up against the wall trying to catch the breath he didn't need.

“You haven't been practicing your training” was all he said as he stood across the room.

    Then Simon was on him. He kissed him hard, putting all the pain from the past two years into the kiss. Raphael quickly kissed him back and pulled him over to the bed without breaking the kiss. He pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top to straddle the panting boys hips. Then they were kissing again. It was rough kissing that was only broken when Raphael moved to his neck, biting him. Simon let out a moan of pleasure and scratched the other boys shoulders through his shirt.

“Excuse me Mr. Santi-oh my apologies sir”

    They both looked to see a confused Lily at the doorway. Raphael climbed off him, wiping the blood from his chin as he walked over to her.

“What is it Lily?” he asked putting on his clan leader face.

“I just came to inform you that we would all be leaving, Magnus is having a party and we were wondering if you would like to come with us tonight” Lily said, still eyeing the boy covering his face with a pillow.

“Not tonight. But when you come back we will be having a clan discussion. I have an announcement” he said snapping her attention from the boy on the bed.

“Of course sir. I will tell them” she said before walking out.

    Simon sat up from the bed, still holding onto the pillow. He looked at the leader curiously as he stood there unmoving. Simon got up and walked over to him, worry clear on his face.

“Raph-Raphael are you okay? What's wrong?” he asked frantically trying to get the boy to respond.

“Oh nothing” he said as he broke out his signature smirk.

“Thank g-goodness” he choked trying to say god but quickly recovered earning him an eye roll. “What do you need to discuss with your clan?”

“I need to inform them that you're coming home” he said simply before walking to his bed and leaving a stunned Simon standing in the middle of the room.

“You mean...you mean I can come back? I can come home?” he asked quietly looking over to the leader.

“Of course baby.” he smiled from across the room and motioned for him to come sit down next to him. “I was always going to let you come home. You just had to want it enough, I needed to see how badly you wanted to come home” he said once the other boy sat down.

“Well if I had known I just had to kiss you, I would've done that years ago!” he laughed as he saw Raphael trying to hold back his smile.“But seriously Raph. This is my home. Thank you” he squeezed the hand of the smiling boy and kissed his lips softly.

“This will always be your home,” he replied leaning in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic, please feel free to leave feedback and check out my other fic :)


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